So you recently had a couple sexually charged dreams that caused you to awaken with a good-natured night sweat. You’re awake now, and you have some important questions. You might be questioning why the old flame in your dream that you haven’t thought about in years or why you were in bed with someone who doesn’t have a sexual attraction to you in real life.
It’s important to remember that not all sexual dreams are literal before you start making assumptions. Lauri Loewenberg, a licenced dream analyst, explains that dreams don’t use literal language; instead, they communicate symbolically. “Sex in a dream is more about the psychological act of combining two minds, or incorporating a trait or behaviour of your dream lover into yourself, than it is about the physical act of uniting two bodies,” Even so, sometimes sexual fantasies come true. You might experience frequent sex dreams if your sexual activity in bed has dried up and you are frustrated by this, according to Loewenberg.
Sex dreams can occur at any age, despite the fact that they are typically associated with adolescence. Ashleigh Sacks, a psychologist and authority in dream interpretation at Just Answer, claims that this is particularly true for individuals who are still figuring out their sexual identity, preferences, and interests. She clarifies, “Sex doesn’t merely relate to or accentuate a person’s physical joys. “It frequently depicts qualities, feelings, and goals that a person aspires to achieve in their lives.”
Most sex dreams require some interpretation. Asking yourself the following questions will help you approach any kind of sex fantasy, according to Loewenberg: Have you recently had a real connection with this person?
Do you need to come to an understanding with this individual or find some kind of common ground? Are there currently any traits, abilities, or aspects of this person’s life that you wish you had? “ These inquiries ought to point you in the direction of the cause of your sex dream concerning that specific person.
Having an orgy or hooking up with an ex are two popular types of sex dreams, and each one can raise concerns. In order to interpret your sex dreams, we asked Loewenberg and Sacks to walk us through the scenarios that are most likely to appear in your subconscious. What do literal and figurative sexual dreams mean? Learn more.
Having an orgy or hooking up with an ex are two popular types of sex dreams, and each one can raise concerns. In order to interpret your sex dreams, we asked Loewenberg and Sacks to walk us through the scenarios that are most likely to appear in your subconscious. What do literal and figurative sexual dreams mean? Learn more.
Sex with an ex
This one might leave you waking up in a panic depending on how things ended with said ex. Sure, you might just miss that person (or the good sex), but dreaming about an ex does not necessarily mean you want to get back together—especially if you’re well into a new relationship. Loewenberg says dreams like this could be stemming from similarities between your past and current relationship. “A lot of us tend to keep going for the same type of person,” she says. “These dreams are helping you determine if this ‘type’ is good for you or not.”
Cue a sigh of relief. So this doesn’t mean you should ring up your ex out of the blue and confess that your burning passion still lingers or ask if they’re up for a reunion romp. More pressing is the opportunity to take a deep dive within.
Sex with a friend
So you’ve had an amazing conversation with your bestie and then suddenly they have a starring role in your wet dream. Having sex in a dream with someone you know can be particularly mind-boggling for a lot of reasons: Maybe you’ve never thought of them that way before in real life, or maybe said friend isn’t even the gender that you’re typically attracted to.
In dreamland, none of that matters. “A sex dream can come on the heels of having connected with someone on some level emotionally or psychologically,” says Loewenberg. Your dream isn’t necessarily unleashing a hidden desire for sexy time with your friend—it’s more likely this is your mind’s way of processing the intimacy of your relationship and reflecting it back.
Sex with a coworker
It doesn’t necessarily indicate that you’re secretly infatuated if you find yourself having a wild sexual fantasy with a coworker you’ve always admired but don’t find at all attractive. Note that most of the time, according to Loewenberg, sex dreams are “primarily about a psychological connection you require than a physical connection you want.” In other words, she explains, the significance of the sex dream may be more about wanting a characteristic that the coworker possesses, such as their excellent work ethic. So suggest coffee rather than a lewd suggestion.
Sex with multiple people at once
According to Loewenberg, having a threesome or an orgy can indicate that you are trying to focus on too many things at once or that you have too much going on in your life or head. It makes sense because, if you’re anxious before going to bed, you could start to feel as though your tension is taking up too much space in the room. When you’re dreaming, the stress of having many commitments can abruptly change into gorgeous strangers who want to have a ménage à trois.
Sex with your boss
As we’ve said before, dreaming of having sex with your boss doesn’t mean you’re attracted to them (though it can!). Rather, says Sacks, it could mean you’re vying for their role. “Sex often shows where someone’s desires are focused,” she explains. “There’s an attraction to being in control, not having to take orders from superiors, and owning one’s time. Often, those that have leadership qualities see themselves having sex with their boss in their dreams because they are highly attracted to the qualities that the boss represents, including power, financial well-being, reaching the height of one’s profession, or having skills to manage and control people in order to empower one’s business and financial stability.”
Sacks says if you’ve caught yourself having a questionable dream about your boss more often than not, it can signal that you’re ready for a greater challenge and are seeking independence or free reign. Or, it could mean that your sexual fantasies revolve around being in a subordinate position. You’ll have to look within to decide what makes the most sense for you.
Sex with someone other than your partner
Realizing that the sex dream that gave you a sleep orgasm was not with your significant other might be somewhat unsettling when you’re partnered up. You can feel excited and guilty when you awaken. Yet, dreaming about adultery does not necessarily indicate that you are unhappy in your relationship. According to Loewenberg, “when you dream of infidelity, it frequently signifies you have permitted something to become a third wheel in your relationship.” Not necessarily a new love interest, it could be a work obligation or a new side business.
But, Loewenberg does point out that it may be a sign that you’re unconsciously searching for something lacking in your relationship if your sex dreams involve someone who isn’t your spouse but to whom you are undeniably drawn.
Sex between your partner and someone else
What happens, though, if you have a dream that your spouse is cheating on you? The same holds true, according to Loewenberg, if you dream that your spouse is unfaithful to you. It may imply that the person is the one who is devoting excessive time and attention to anything else, leaving you feeling “cheated.” This necessitates discussion rather than a hurried separation in the wee hours.
Having BDSM sex
If you’re experiencing steamy, kinky sex, Sacks says it can indicate that your inner self is yearning for a means to experiment and explore within your relationship. Dream sexuality originates from the subconscious portion of your brain.
According to Sacks, “A person who enjoys exercising dominance in business or other areas of their life may prefer to be controlled and pushed around by someone dominating their every action and sexual fulfilment.” Even a shy person could enjoy to be completely at their partner’s mercy since it makes them think of a role they once played, are currently playing, or would like to play out during a sexual experience.
Sex with a celebrity
Celebrity crushes are common, but what does it mean when they manifest in your steamy dreams? According to Sacks, you could just simply think the person is hot and want to be swept up in their world. “This dream allows the dreamer to consider who they would be if they were spending all their time in a celebrity lifestyle and replicating the qualities, personalities, and lifestyles of the rich and the famous,” Sacks says.
So if you’re dreaming about how nice it is to have sex with a famous actor in a five-star hotel, chances are you’re attracted to not only them but the lifestyle that comes along with it.
Having oral sex
This one is quite literal. Having oral sex with someone after having a heart-to-heart is frequently “symbolic of personal communication in real life since the tongue is doing the work,” according to Loewenberg.
